I love photos of baby albatrosses because in spirit they look like photos of easygoing toddlers who are just waiting for their parents to hand them a toy or a treat after they finish loading groceries into the car
Keep the sun behind you if at all possible so the enemy can’t see you coming.
If your engine acts up upon take off, land immediately. Trying to push it by turning back will end way worse.
Keep the heights. It’s easier (and safer) to dive than climb.
Try not to think about how you might literally die at any point multiple times a day. Just party with your buddies on your off-time and make the best of it.
Being outnumbered is generally not a good thing, but if you attack, commit and make it count.
Landing in a wheat field may look safe but that crap will clog up your propeller and flip your plane. Planes suck as lawnmowers.
Your enemy is just as scared as you are.
Communication is key – if you see an enemy, rock your wings or wiggle parts of your plane to alert your friends.
If you have to emergency-land away from your aerodrome, try to land near a nice French house in the countryside with nice people who will spoil you.
Shoot your guns every now and then so they don’t freeze up.
Some things can only be learned through trial and error, and some mistakes you don’t live to make again.
It may be warm on the ground, but you will freeze your butt off at 20,000+ feet. Layer up and smear whale fat on your face to prevent frostbite.
People think you’re a rockstar, but remember that your job has a higher mortality rate than everybody else’s. You still look cool af though.
Know what motivates you. Revenge. Idealism. Adventure. Whatever it is, make sure it keeps you going.
Just because the enemy has superior equipment, doesn’t mean he’s invincible.
Adopt cute mascots along the way.
Looking around for enemies whilst in an open cockpit has a really limited range of motion, so good luck with that.
Spinning leads to more spinning which leads to inevitable death. Don’t spin unless you can absolutely control it.
When they hear a plane, soldiers in the trenches are ordered to freeze in position in order to keep from being seen from above. You can’t see them from that high up anyway, but they probably won’t believe you.
If the weather is bad, you’ll probably get the day off.
Getting drunk and smashing stuff at bars is actually part of the experience, because it keeps your mind off, y'know, death.
Operate heavy machinery with your knees whenever you need to.
Your machine gun will inevitably jam. A lot. You’re going to have to stand up while flying and hit with a hammer until it works again.
You won’t be given a parachute because the higher ups think you won’t fight as hard if you have one. Try not to get shot down and plummet thousands of feet to the ground. Or go up in flames. Everything is really flammable, including you, because you’re covered in motor oil that the engine spits back on you.
Seriously, don’t think too hard about it all.
Also your average life expectancy as a fighter pilot is anywhere from 3-9 weeks. Just do your best.
imagine you’re on a road trip with the love of your life and your boyfriend like, insists you pick up this fucked up little hitchhiker who’s like 4 feet tall and looks like he’s literally about to die, then you hear the hitchhiker conspiring to KILL you and your boyfriend and steal your shit, so you tell your boyfriend and he’s like “oh no he’s harmless you’re lying” and basically this fucked up danny devito sized slimeball breaks up your relationship and your boyfriend leaves you on the side of the road!! that’s what happened to samwise gamgee.
*missing the charging port on my phone* don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it
my two favourite things about this
everyone knows what this is
the scene was an adaptation of a scene from the original novel where instead of a charging port on a phone, it’s a winding key in a pocketwatch. I like to imagine people having this exact same kind of thought when they missed the watch keyhole 100 years ago
let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them
everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy
Not a rock THE ARKENSTONE
Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils
I like how the high divorce rate is one of the first things cited by religious conservatives as an example of society supposedly deteriorating and it was just their generation
turns out divorce rates go down if you aren’t marrying people you don’t like
